Painting: The Light Owl. Artist: Simon Pritchard.
Note: I did not realize at the time but I was very delusional when I wrote this. The ‘awakenings’ I was so certain of were not embodied in the world but subjective fantasy. I appeared to have lost all fear, but subsequent events proved otherwise. I am very much a beginner
The previous knowledge
I am a cowboy. The mare is escaped. Absent. The Shakti. God is sufficient. I love the mare. I am not attached. I cannot suffer. I walk through myself. I am free. I play freely in the world without need. I am playing free in the world but contained by the world. I do not mind. I am happy. My mare is escaped and I am untouched. There is no separation. This insight is held together by an uninspected tiny interior tension in the mind
The current knowledge
I am a cowboy. In love with my mare. Shakti. My heart all filled. He fills my heart with the vision of her. He breaks my heart with her death the deep knowledge of eternal loss of my mare. The Goddess. The world rushes in to fill the space. The eternal emptiness in my heart. I become the world. I am the world. I am the mare. The Goddess is me. I walk through myself. Transparent. The world is unnecessary. The mare is unnecessary. The life is unnecessary. There is no world. Never was I born and never will I die. Everything is as it was before. Only Da