A Horse In The Wild Is Always Already The Case
Photo: Horse, 2.5 inches wide, 2 inches high, red-brown.
Many years ago now Adi Da invited His devotees to send Him objects for Him to Bless, which He would then return.
I sent him a Chinese prosperity frog and a horse. Both objects came back to me from The Mountain Of Attention Sanctuary in California, Blessed by Him.
Ruchiradama Quandra Sukhapur informed me that Beloved had kept the horse I sent, right next to His bed, as the only item on His small bedside table at The Manner of Flowers, for three weeks or so. Well as you may be able to imagine this broke my heart to feel His Love for me that He would do this.
It breaks my heart now when I look at the horse. I feel Adi Da’s Heart Transmission. Do I feel this because He did something special with the Horse and infused it with His Love-Bliss, empowering it somehow, or is it that when I see it I feel His Overwhelming Love and Sacrifice for me and all beings, and that it is this recognition that breaks my heart open and renders me at times unreasonably and deliriously happy.
I don’t know. But I am sure glad that at the age of 24 when I was utterly lost and bereft of all hope, having tried every which way I could imagine to break free from the chains that I felt binding me, the hell of fear, insecurity and profoundly disturbed emotional-sexual patterns that seemed to entrap and confine me, that He Apppeared in my life.
A Miracle, A Divine Apparition, like a beautiful Rose suddenly blooming in a desert, and Shining His Light through the darkness, so I could find my way home to His Heart of Loveliness and the Peace and Sublime Happiness that passes all understanding.
The deep place of restedness where I feel died in Him, dyed in His colour, and yet joyfully vibrant and alive, in love with Him, grateful beyond belief, and blessed by Him with an unreasonable and profound happiness, far beyond whatever I could have imagined or conceived for myself