The Miracle Of Naitauba (1995 – my second retreat at Adi Da Samrajashram, Fiji)
I was 34 years old. I had been Avatar Adi Da’s devotee since I was 24. I was visiting Fiji on the remote island of Naitauba, where lived The Da Avatar. He called for a gathering at Hymns To Me. They said it was a very special time and that He may want to speak to the five of us who had just arrived on spiritual retreat. At the gathering I watched as my friends approached Him and He gave my friends hugs and kisses one by one, and spoke with each of them. I was very excited though nervous and shy. I had never spoken with Adi Da before or been so close physically to His bodily (human) Form.
This was the being I had first fallen so deeply in love with in 1985. He had dissolved all despair and given me hope. I could access Real Love-Bliss for the first time. Finally after years of searching I had found a being, the only living being I had ever met or seen, who it was clear to me, was completely, absolutely fearless, happy and free
I was shy, and I was taking gulps of beer to loosen me up. My friend Mo turned to me and said ‘Simon you don’t need to do that, relax, this is not a first date you are going on, this is Your Guru, Your Heart Friend’. My friends had sat down by now. I was the only one of the new retreatants left to go up to His chair. He pretended He did not know who was next. He moved His great arm and finger in a wide circle across the devotees, and then circling His finger around, he homed in on me, with a mischievous, amused look in his eyes, like a swooping bird, and pointed his finger at me, and curled it over so it pointed upwards, and wiggled it towards Him, beckoning me to His chair.
I was shaking with excitement and nervousness and passion. I offered my gift and bowed at His Feet. I looked up with my arms and hands outstretched, palms turned towards Him in the gesture of worship. He looked at me with powerful, loving eyes. I looked into His eyes and spoke ecstatically and heart-broken with gratitude, ‘Lord I love You so much, I love You so much, I love You so much, I love You so much’. I said this over and over again and couldn’t stop.
Adi Da was drinking in my worship and devotion. Then my mind came in with a thought that I should say something else and not the same thing over and over, so I said ‘Lord before I came to You I was so fucked up,’ I was going to go onto say ‘but You changed me, You made me Happy’, but He didn’t let me get that far. As soon as I said the words ‘fucked up’, He struck me, slapped me on my right cheek with his firm left hand, firm, strong and powerful, so that I would understand, and never forget to understand.
I went right bank to saying ‘I love You so much’. I was shaking, trembling, and His Body was shaking, trembling too, like a wild animal, unprogrammed by mind, untamed, spontaneous, a huge power not withheld in any way, a gigantic and overwhelming force of Loving energy, a torrent of life-current. He reached His arms out to me and pulled me to Him, and He kissed me all over my face, and on the lips and on and on, and He held me to His chest tight, and He massaged the mid-thoracic region of my back where I have chronic pain and spinal dysfunction since my mid teenage years, and He loved me, and me Him, and I whispered in His ear, ‘Lord I will tell everyone I can that You are God, that You are God in human form, so they might come to You.’
And when He kissed me full and strong and sweet and tender and long on the lips, and held me, it was like no other hug or kiss I ever had before or since. I fell through the world. I fell through the bottom of the world, an infinite drop into His Boundless Embrace of Pure and Absolute Love, and I was weeping with Happiness and Joy, and somewhere, prior to space and time, whatever seems to happen in this dream-life we appear to be living, whatever apparent sufferings, whatever apparent meetings, whatever apparent joys, apparent failures and apparent successes, somewhere, somehow, by His Grace alone, I dropped through the world into His Infinite Loving Heart where there is no dilemma, no stress, no self-consciousness, no anxiety, no disease, no discomfort, no pain, no fear, no craving, no depression, no frustration, no dissatisfaction, no conflict, no loss, no problems, no limit on Love-Bliss Happiness.
I dropped into His Well of Happiness free-falling, and though I, the sense of ‘I’ very soon came back, the familiar patterns of egoity, the suffered karmas that I am eternally committed to submit at His Feet to be purified, for however many lifetimes it will take, somewhere deep in the Heart of all the worlds, I never came back
With His slap and His kisses and His demonstration of overwhelming, unconditional, exquisite Love He ‘took me out’. He installed Himself even more deeply in my heart. He founded my life in Present Happiness, the recognition of Him as God in human Form, the True Identity of ‘me’ and everyone, The Divinely Blissful Self of all, the One Great God of Extreme, Sublime, Unspeakable Love